SSDD

Things will never change with some people and I am one of them. Last night I was text by the man that has a hold on me. He wanted to answer a question I had asked days previous. "What was it that your ex's had that got you to surrender your guard, that I obviously do not have". He said they did have something that I did not have, also that he was not with them any longer so that it was a good thing. To make the whole story shorter he said that he had fucked up and that I WAS what he wanted. I thought it was a joke and made him promise that it wasn't a joke, we all know where his promises lead to. He said he wanted to be with me as my boyfriend 100% and that he was dead serious, no more games. Well needless to say I was hesitant but accepted his offer to give him another chance. That is where I realize how fucking pathetic I was at even the thought that things might actually change but then again stranger things have happened in my life. We will see what really happens in the next couple of days and if, once again, I was foolish enough to take him back.
What is it with how some men can get a hold on us? Trestons father had a hold on me for almost 2 years but I was forced to let that go and honestly it hasnt been that hard. I think because he is still a part of my life. Not that I have hopes of a future with him but because I was in love with him and I would rather be friends than nothing. But thinking about it deeper if it weren't for our son we wouldn't even talk anymore at all. Maybe God has a reason to keep us friends, through Treston. I can't see me ever being with him other than friends though so maybe God's plan was simply for us to be friends.
Why can't everyone just simply come with a manual, then we would know exactly how much drama we were in for besides even without manuals, sometimes we know how much drama we are in for but we ignore the warning label. Almost like a prescription, we know there are side effects but we still pursue. Some drugs cause less side effects than others and sometimes it takes different drugs until we find the right one that is for us.