What about me?

Ever think about yourself? Have you seriously ever tried to step out of your own shoes and look at yourself how other people see you? Live every single day trying to do the right thing by everyone, being courteous or to help strangers, just because you can. Step out of your own shoes to put yourself in some one else's to make sure you have done the right thing? But what about stepping out of your own shoes to look at yourself?
The type of person who is always there for hours on end for people you call your friends. To listen to their arguments with life, their problems or their worries. To be supportive 100% and reassuring as possible. To actually listen to their problems and try understand what they are going through so if they do ask for your opinion or advice, you can answer honestly like a TRUE friend that actually cared enough to listen and try to help someone else.
When does it ever get to the point when you need to think about yourself? Why is it when you are at your lowest, no one is ever there for you. To be your shoulder or ear. Feeding of everyone else's energies is draining but for me impossible and those who I've told, know why. I am emotional bottom feeder, if it is there I feel it whether it is good or bad energies. Sometimes I wish I could stop it, but I can't. I guess a gift is not always a good thing.
My world is always about someone else, never about me. My kids ALWAYS come first no matter what and that is obvious. Any caring parent will go without so that their kid(s) don't have to. No matter what mood I am in I am ALWAYS there for whoever and whenever because that's what a real friend does. No matter if I am at my lowest, I suck it up and focus my thoughts on others. I haven't decided if that is a good thing or bad yet. If I am at my highest and my feet aren't even touching the ground I will still be there for those lower than me, knowing it will ruin my own happiness, because that's what a real friend does.
Sometimes I wonder why the hell I am so understanding, when most people are not. Why the hell do I care if they don't? I guess that's what makes me different.....I actually care. I know who ever is actually reading this is saying "I understand" or "It'll be okay" but unless you suffer with my gift, you will NEVER understand what I feel every single day. I hate to sound rude ir disrespecting but some times I get to the point where everyone around me has sucked the life out of me, unknowingly. I stay away from negativity as much as possible because of this one reason but so many people are so negative that it drains me completely. Does anyone I know ever think of me? Does anyone out there actually know what it is like to have this gift or to understand it? Do they ever think about how anything effects me? Granted not many people know but honestly it shouldn't matter if they truly care about me. How I feel at all? Probably not because not once has anyone came to me, just because they thought of me or because they could see "me" and know I needed someone. When I reach out no one is ever there or they don't understand or they say they do but in reality, they don't. So, I stopped reaching and focus on others because it's easier to deal with them, than with myself. It was easier to drink or do drugs than to feel what every one else is feeling, ALL THE TIME. The only time I could feel for myself is when I was numb.