Soapbox 1

Sometimes I wonder why I am where I am in my life. Since my back injury my quality of life has gone to shit. Workers Comp Dr's are all asshole, who I think took a separate Oath from good Dr's. They say they are there to help but wont do anything to find and fix the problem and on top of that will not even help manage the pain this "unknown" condition is causing. I can't enjoy a day out of my house, Austin's sports or play with Treston without wanting to rip my spine out by the time I get home. Then I have to force myself to put on a happy face for my kids,to make sure they are taken care of, when in reality I want to go to my room and just lay there and cry until I fall asleep. What really pisses me off though are the real drug seekers who have made it difficult for Dr's to even care when people have "real" pain. What the hell do you do in this situation? When your at a breaking point and just fed up that you can't live a normal life, I just want to get better and it almost seems as though no one cares.
This is were your kids fathers are suppose to step in and help some, am I right? You have no income and rely on the government for food but what about the kids necessities? One wont even pay the full amount of CS court ordered, but because he paid SOMETHING they wont do anything to him. $40. every 2-8 weeks is nothing especially when the court order is $255 a month. Oh and the other asshole will only give me around $50, if I ask, but that is usually right after he says "fuck me and I'll give you more" GRRRRR!!!!
You would think that in my desperate times they would at least step up and help out a little, cause I have never asked for anything until now. But I guess we learn where peoples real priorities are when it's there turn to sacrifice something of there's. I sold my laptop that I had less than a year to buy my kids Christmas presents, because these loser fucks couldn't give me anything to make sure their kids had something under the tree. I now know where their heads are when it comes to their kids welfare and it sure as hell ain't where it should be, so FUCK EM ALL. I know karma and boy is she a real bitch.